Today is the day you were supposed to be born. I am so lucky that I was able to meet you three months before you were due, and so blessed to be able to watch you grow outside of me. Although this journey is not what I imagined the day I found out I was pregnant, I can't imagine not meeting you until now. I have had the chance to witness a miracle growing in front of me. I still remember the day that daddy said "I didn't want to say anything, but I thought he was going to grow up without nipples!" You hadn't developed everything yet when you were born, so we were able to watch you grow and develop different things as time went on. Your eyes were still fused shut when you were born! We literally witnessed a miracle grow in front of us.
This morning I knew that you weren't going to eat much because you did so well over night. I did your care and then fed you. You were sleepy so you only took about 7 ml. I hoped that since you were so tired, you would do well for your noon feed.
The doctors rounded after your 9 am feed. They weren't concerned with your one day of weight loss. They said that you weren't gaining a lot of weight, and they would like you to gain more. The nutritionist wanted to increase your feed to 60 ml every three hours. She also wants to put you on iron since you haven't had a blood transfusion within the last month. Since they don't like making too many changes at once, they increased your feeds to 60 ml today, and are going to start you on iron tomorrow. We spoke about dropping your heart rate during feeds and they said that they would feel more comfortable for you to stay this week to see how you do. Since the majority of your heart rate drops are caused by reflux, they increased your dosage of Zantac to see if that would help. Since your throat hurts when the fluid comes up, you hold your breath. We are hoping that this helps. They didn't give another time frame of when you would come home, so we are just taking it one day at a time. We changed our CPR and NG tube classes from tomorrow until Monday since you aren't coming home this week. As for you taking the bottle, they said to continue doing what we have been.
At noon you were so awake. You took 35 ml, and then the rest by gravity. You have been doing well with the gravity feeds. Lets hope it stays that way! I figured since you did so well this feed, that you would be tired for your 3 pm feed.
At 3, we did your care and you were basically sleeping the whole time. I knew you wouldn't do well with your feed. We didn't want to push you to eat while you were tired because that would just result in an episode, and we didn't need that. I held you for a while until I went to grab something quick to eat.
Since daddy was working late, I got to do your 6 pm feed as well. I did your care a little early since you woke up early, and then fed you. You had a pretty big episode where your heart rate dropped to 58, so we stopped for a bit and you got really tired. We never tried again after the episode. You took 6 ml this time.
Hopefully the Zantac works. If not, I am not sure what they are going to want to do. Hopefully they have a plan tomorrow, and if not, I will ask to see what they think will happen if you continue to have these episodes while eating. Luckily it is only around your feeds.
I am glad I got to spend the whole day with you today. We got to cuddle so much, and even the nurse was jealous that she wasn't able to cuddle you today! I hope you do well again with your feeds tonight (the same nurse is back that had you last night when you did really well) and I hope your reflux doesn't hurt much. We love you and will see you tomorrow!